Macanaw

by Freeman Payne (with artwork by Mike Faith)

Writers Artists Night 2021

Alex was born on July 15, 1975. His harrowing tale of ritualized sexual abuse he received as a child sex slave went unreported. His family used him sexually, sold him for orgies, and photographed him with his sister. People took him at will. As long as he was returned, no questions were asked.

At the age of four he was raped and left in the woods for dead. No one came looking for him; he eventually found his way home, lead by his imaginary friend, Macanaw.

For years, Macanaw helped him create an imaginary world where they could hide together.

At the age of five, Alex started acting out at school, first towards his kindergarten teacher, then neighbors, then fellow students. Alex’s teachers merely stopped calling home, afraid of risking their careers by notifying the authorities.

Alex attempted suicide at six and again at seven. He told the family secrets to his school principle at nine, and again at 14. Alex’s life was not spared. He was not removed from the home. He was never made a ward of the state. And no one saved him.

Alex went on to act out and after years of torment, disassociation and confusion, Alex turned himself over to the authorities.

“Tell us everything,” they said. So he did just that. Every minute detail was documented for later use.

Alex received a 15-year prison sentence. Many years were spent heavily medicated as he dealt with the hallucinations, all the while receiving the treatment he had so desperately sought. But simply put, the abuse in prison was a repeat of his childhood.

While incarcerated Alex found his true self and, through years of intense therapy, he learned how the brain works, how to recognize and replace his false core beliefs, and he made the internal changes necessary to be successful in life.

After serving 12 years of his sentence, Alex was remanded to the department of mental health for an in-depth psychosexual evaluation. The state prosecutor then used the evaluation at a civil commitment trial with the goal of placing Alex in an insane asylum for the rest of his natural life.

This is his story….